Caught off guard, I’m driving through misty rain in Alabama with tears streaming down my face. Memories of days long ago begin to flood me as saxophone music resonates inside my vehicle and my heart.
A few days ago Chris and I drove through Tyler TX on our way to Killeen TX. I shift back in time 30 years as I barely recognize the city where I went to college and lived for a year and a half. It was like my spirit was swelling up with joy to pass thru this place I haven’t seen in over 20 years. So hard to explain just how amazing it felt to be in a place that I loved but one that held some really painful memories.
Those same memories now beat a drum through my being as Kenny G’s saxophone trills up and down the scales. Again I’m transported back 30 years to a time of immense pain, hours spent driving every back country road around Tyler blasting this very same album with windows down, my 80’s big hair blowing in my face.
To this day I have no idea what it was about this man’s saxophone that would bring the tears and also ease the pain of my very broken heart. As I share my story of that season of my life with my best friend/husband he finds Kenny G’s album and hits play…
The tears flow…
My spirit rises up within me and soars once again.
I become aware of just how much pain I struggled with during those years…
Sobs quickly follow and i am aware that my heart breaks for that young lady. She’s me….and yet she isn’t me. Like looking through a window and eaves dropping on a perfect stranger. Yet she’s so close to me…..she is me.
30 years removed I can now see that I have experienced so much deep healing in my life and the excruciating pain that I sought to escape through long drives with Kenny G no longer haunts me.
But what is it about his music that hits my heart in such a deep place? How did it ease my pain? I have no idea.
Driving country roads still makes my spirit soar…so does a bit of Kenny G.